Diarrhea of the Mouth

Melancholic

It's funny how a mood swing can come over you all of a sudden, not to say that I'm manic in any way, it just happens all of a sudden and seldom. It's not a bad thing if you really think about it because in the end you learn a little about yourself (if you're paying attention). Like today I was reminiscent about the life I lived a few years back, I was so care free and had tremendous energy to expend. However life caught up with me and now I find myself bogged down with so many responsibilities that some days just seem endless. I don't find joy in my life anymore like I used to, even if I had a million friends to go out with everyday it wouldn't change how I feel. It's hard determining the cause of my unhappiness, but it seems that I'm just not fulfilling some hidden need of mine. I become easily annoyed and that's not good, I don't have the same level of concentration that I used to have and that's not good either. I've sat down to allow myself time to do other things, but that hasn't helped and the only real thing that somehow satisfies me in a way is when I'm completely alone. Somehow being alone doesn't seem to be a healthy thing to do, simply because I don't want to shut myself out from the world. Yet it brings a sense of calm over me, I focus on my emotions and feelings and that's about it, nothing else! It's weird, I've somehow stooped to a level I've never had to stoop to before. Laters...

posted by Jesse @ 9:19 PM